Sept. 18, 2025

The Dark Side of HUSTLE Culture: Work Life Balance is BULLSHIT

Did having it all actually just mean running on empty for 30 years straight? This question hits at the heart of our exploration into the Gen X hustle myth and why an entire generation traded play for productivity.

Growing up watching parents with incredible work ethics – showing up despite injuries, never taking mental health days – shaped how many of us approach success and self-worth today. We unpack whether this mindset prepared us or ultimately drained us, examining the complicated relationship between achievement and wellbeing.

Many listeners will recognize themselves in our conversation about being "the reliable one" who overachieves for everyone else while neglecting their own needs. We dive into why rest feels like failure and how the programming that "doing nothing equals laziness" continues to drive burnout cycles decades later.

The episode takes fascinating turns through comparisons between our childhood experiences with report cards and how we're approaching our own children's education differently. We debate mental health days (which weren't an option growing up), share personal stories about school struggles, and reflect on how parenting offers a chance to break unhealthy patterns.

Through games like "This or That" (workaholic identity or quiet quitting champion? proving my worth or protecting my peace?), we reveal the evolution many are experiencing from "I'll sleep when I'm dead" to "I'll rest so I don't die."

If you're canceling afternoon plans just from thinking about these topics – you're not alone. This episode validates what so many are feeling: you're not lazy for needing rest, you're human. And when someone praises you for doing it all, we give you permission to say, "Cool, I'd like to do less."

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Thanks for hanging out with us on Brother Sister Whatever, your no-BS guide through the messy middle!
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Bring your feelings. We’ll bring ours.

00:14 - Questioning the hustle myth

02:30 - Overachieving: preparation or ruin?

08:30 - Success for others vs. yourself

13:20 - This or That: workaholic identity

18:20 - Dear sibling letter: rest vs. failure

24:10 - Report cards: then and now

27:35 - Mental health days debate

32:25 - 1998 Pop Culture Rewind

WEBVTT

00:00:00.261 --> 00:00:06.293
Quick question did having it all actually just mean running on empty for 30 years straight?

00:00:07.440 --> 00:00:15.314
Because somewhere between gold stars and side hustles, we traded play for productivity and started calling burnout a personality trait.

00:00:16.460 --> 00:00:25.035
Today we are unpacking the Gen X hustle myth and we've got five segments that hit a little too hard.

00:00:25.420 --> 00:00:36.795
From trophy shelves and burnout badges to the stress of being the good kid who never learned how to rest and a listener letter about a sibling who won't stop weaponizing their success.

00:00:37.740 --> 00:00:44.590
Plus, we'll rewind to November 1998, when Lisa was 20 and spiraling into early adulthood.

00:00:44.590 --> 00:00:56.360
I was 14, with a mustache no one asked for and aerosmith was crying on the radio for both of us if your to-do list is longer than your will to live, you are not alone.

00:00:56.401 --> 00:00:57.182
Let's get into it.

00:00:57.182 --> 00:01:23.772
All right, josh, our 90s mystery question Did overachieving in the 90s prepare us or ruin us?

00:01:23.772 --> 00:01:31.299
Define?

00:01:31.299 --> 00:01:41.606
Overachieving doing well the good grades, the good behavior, the you know yeah working hard.

00:01:41.606 --> 00:01:57.576
If you think about and again, you might think of it differently, but when I look back at my childhood, early adulthood, I look at mom and dad as hustlers.

00:01:58.697 --> 00:01:58.878
Yeah.

00:01:59.037 --> 00:02:00.665
Okay, they worked.

00:02:00.665 --> 00:02:03.825
They had a work ethic Like you show up to you.

00:02:03.825 --> 00:02:06.212
Know like dad went to work with like a broken toe?

00:02:06.212 --> 00:02:09.353
Yeah, Okay, Worked a whole day and then went to the hospital.

00:02:09.735 --> 00:02:09.956
Yeah.

00:02:10.098 --> 00:02:16.872
Okay, like there was like this now people would say that's kind of toxic right.

00:02:17.493 --> 00:02:17.693
Sure.

00:02:17.841 --> 00:02:19.194
You could look at it both ways.

00:02:19.478 --> 00:02:19.599
Yeah.

00:02:19.840 --> 00:02:24.462
But like we grew up, we, like you, worked for what you had.

00:02:24.462 --> 00:02:27.405
But like we grew up, we, like you, worked for what you had.

00:02:27.405 --> 00:02:36.591
If you know you show up for work, sick or whatever, like just you, just you just did.

00:02:36.591 --> 00:02:41.894
You know there was no room for like mental health days like there is now.

00:02:42.133 --> 00:03:16.715
Yeah, I think, um, I think, I think in in that context, I think, um, I, you know, I don't know if anyone gets ruined from from this stuff, you know, I mean because when I look at my childhood, I think, at least in the sense of when I was starting to try and work or school, all of that stuff I definitely feel like I came out as a failure on on, you know, 95% of that era, you know.

00:03:16.715 --> 00:03:29.754
But I look at myself now and I think about all of that and you know, like for me, it and I think about all of that, and you know, like for me, I don't look at it like it ruined me.

00:03:29.754 --> 00:03:31.175
You know what I mean.

00:03:31.175 --> 00:03:42.586
So, even though I have the thought process of like it was all bad, I wasn't good enough, et cetera, et cetera, no, I don't think it ruined me at all.

00:03:42.586 --> 00:03:46.800
No, I don't think it ruined me at all.

00:03:53.540 --> 00:04:06.110
So I think there was some good values installed in the software and there were some bad ones and it took a little bit to get that out of the system and I'm sure there's still a couple viruses in there, or whatever.

00:04:06.110 --> 00:04:11.941
Hilarious metaphors.

00:04:11.961 --> 00:04:12.421
It's all's all you know.

00:04:12.421 --> 00:04:13.804
I don't know again, perspective, I guess yeah, but you know, I don't.

00:04:13.804 --> 00:04:18.211
I don't compare myself anymore to how I was before.

00:04:18.211 --> 00:04:28.781
I do think that because of certain things, it made me who I am today, but at the end of the day I think it it.

00:04:28.781 --> 00:04:33.692
It doesn't come from anyone else, comes from us, you know.

00:04:33.692 --> 00:04:59.067
So, regardless of how I was treated or what happened or what they did or who did what or whatever, you know, it's not anyone's fault, you know, and it's it's just my responsibility to fix it or to figure out what I need to do, um, to move forward you know, so you know, I could just as like an example.

00:04:59.127 --> 00:05:17.170
You know like, uh, someone will complain to me about how, um, their parents were alcoholics and it ruined their childhood, and you know they were in a group home and this and that, and so it's just, I don't know it's so negative and they talk about it and about where they are now.

00:05:17.170 --> 00:05:20.790
But sometimes you hear great stories where it's like this happened.

00:05:20.790 --> 00:05:28.661
I said fuck you, and I became, you know, successful, successful or whatever, and it's like, yeah, great.

00:05:28.661 --> 00:05:33.213
But then you have the ones where it's like this is why I'm the way I am.

00:05:33.213 --> 00:05:46.581
You know it's because of that and and for me, I don't know, it's a little bit of an eye roller now I guess my old age, you know, like now I'm, so it's like it's your responsibility to fix that.

00:05:46.581 --> 00:05:48.603
It's not their fault anymore.

00:05:49.307 --> 00:05:53.605
Oh, hands down, yes, I have.

00:05:54.764 --> 00:05:56.649
So sorry Okay go ahead.

00:05:56.649 --> 00:06:04.440
I guess, to summarize your question, I think it prepared us Me.

00:06:04.440 --> 00:06:06.706
I don't think it ruined me.

00:06:06.706 --> 00:06:19.240
I think if I were to say that what happened in the 90s ruined me, then that would be saying like this podcast wouldn't exist right now.

00:06:19.240 --> 00:06:21.925
Yeah, so it's.

00:06:21.925 --> 00:06:27.451
It's kind of a you know a big question to say did it ruin us?

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No, you know, Well, I share some of those opinions and I disagree with some of those opinions, or maybe not disagree, but have a different perspective.

00:06:40.149 --> 00:07:22.517
So I think that there was a lot of a certain kind of mentality growing up in which how I absorbed it made me very codependent in a way, like I'm always looking at how I can help somebody else as opposed to helping myself over the years put myself on the back burner.

00:07:22.517 --> 00:07:30.658
Of course, all of this comes to the surface as you get older and you're evaluating who you are and you know midlife stuff right.

00:07:30.918 --> 00:07:31.119
Yeah.

00:07:31.259 --> 00:07:41.983
So for the first I'm going to say 40 years of my life, I would look at it the exact same way, and I still do.

00:07:41.983 --> 00:07:46.230
I look at my childhood and think there was some great fucking lessons that I learned there.

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You know what I mean, Even the tough stuff, right, the not so fun stuff.

00:07:51.242 --> 00:07:54.706
But I don't.

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And when I think of overachieving, I think I overachieved at being great for everybody else but not myself.

00:08:06.160 --> 00:08:13.586
Because when I look realistically at what I've achieved with my life, I didn't put any effort into me.

00:08:13.586 --> 00:08:25.766
Really, I didn't think that I mattered enough to put any effort into, and so therefore I didn't try.

00:08:25.766 --> 00:08:32.808
And so I don't think I overachieved at anything other than being great for other people.

00:08:32.808 --> 00:08:42.828
And so and I think a lot of people can relate to that I can't be the only one in this world that thinks that way.

00:08:42.828 --> 00:08:55.725
But now that I'm aware of that, I don't blame mom and dad in the least, Like I mean, as parents, we're just doing the best we fucking can, right, Like I get that.

00:08:55.725 --> 00:09:02.650
But I think the mentality then versus now is very different.

00:09:02.650 --> 00:09:03.631
Does that make sense?

00:09:04.212 --> 00:09:04.793
Yeah, it makes sense.

00:09:04.793 --> 00:09:10.149
I'm kind of like I don't feel like I'm making sense, but but I feel like you're saying the same thing as me.

00:09:11.600 --> 00:09:14.309
Well, I didn't say, you didn't say anything about your childhood.

00:09:15.019 --> 00:09:18.591
Well, I said it was a big failure, right.

00:09:19.201 --> 00:09:19.623
Oh, okay.

00:09:19.823 --> 00:09:27.701
So I'm, you know, because overachieving was impossible for me, Right so?

00:09:27.701 --> 00:09:29.948
But I'm not saying that that ruined me.

00:09:31.301 --> 00:09:33.929
No, it didn't ruin me, right?

00:09:33.929 --> 00:09:35.346
Yeah, it didn't ruin me.

00:09:35.681 --> 00:09:39.792
So then, did it prepare you or did it ruin you?

00:09:43.181 --> 00:09:49.332
I think I think it prepared me for this second half of my life.

00:09:49.634 --> 00:09:49.894
Right.

00:09:50.600 --> 00:09:53.610
To be better, but to appreciate it.

00:09:53.951 --> 00:09:54.150
Right.

00:09:54.179 --> 00:09:57.169
Because at that time I don't even think I would have appreciated it.

00:10:00.024 --> 00:10:00.144
Mm-hmm.

00:10:00.144 --> 00:10:11.684
You know, through everything you found out or you realize that it's not the responsibility of them to make things right.

00:10:12.066 --> 00:10:21.567
It's our responsibility to well, at a certain point you've got to stop blaming the other person right and look at yourself in a way.

00:10:21.847 --> 00:10:23.671
Exactly Right.

00:10:23.770 --> 00:10:26.235
Yeah, it's also fucking complicated eh.

00:10:26.235 --> 00:10:42.788
Well, you know when you think about it sometimes it's just like man, it's like the hardest job and nobody like you just get to take this little kid home, this little baby home from the hospital, and it's like you're responsible for everything.

00:10:42.788 --> 00:10:45.389
It's like how do you not fuck up in some way, shape or form?

00:10:45.721 --> 00:10:56.466
I remember when I was a new parent and I would think I have to do this and I have to do that, and like I got to make sure that.

00:10:56.466 --> 00:11:09.268
You know, like everything was perfect and my kid has to have this and I want to save up and get him to go to a private school and I want to make sure I can do this and do that, and we obviously always want the best for our kids.

00:11:09.268 --> 00:11:30.768
But I think, you know, I realized that you know, regardless of what you do, it doesn't have to be perfect and you know they will be grateful for what they have and it's all about perspective.

00:11:31.330 --> 00:11:31.650
Yeah.

00:11:32.240 --> 00:11:41.167
And you have kids who have absolutely nothing and they're the happiest kids in the world, and then you have kids that have everything and they're fucking miserable.

00:11:41.167 --> 00:12:16.278
So I mean, I think I just learned that the more you give, the more they will want to take, because they're children and I'm trying to, you know, have a little bit more of a clear life that you know, I want them to have everything, but I don't have to provide, you know, everything.

00:12:17.841 --> 00:12:21.711
It's okay for them to struggle a little and get.

00:12:22.279 --> 00:12:23.807
Yeah, like I think they should be hungry.

00:12:23.919 --> 00:12:24.523
Earn something.

00:12:24.523 --> 00:12:25.687
Yeah, a little bit.

00:12:26.000 --> 00:12:27.506
You know, I think they should be hungry.

00:12:27.506 --> 00:12:36.268
If they're not hungry, then they just get stuff whenever they want, and so, yeah, I don't know.

00:12:36.941 --> 00:12:41.806
Anyways, off topic now, yeah, we could like go totally Talk about this forever.

00:12:41.806 --> 00:12:48.009
Okay, this or that I'm gonna start.

00:12:48.051 --> 00:13:03.510
okay, okay, honor roll bumper sticker or a detention regular detention regular, because that's what I was same, same, I was never on the honor roll well, yeah, okay, like I would be on the honor roll.

00:13:03.510 --> 00:13:05.916
Well, yeah, okay, like I would be on the honor roll.

00:13:05.936 --> 00:13:09.629
Oh my God, stop Having it all versus having no energy.

00:13:09.629 --> 00:13:12.206
Well, like I mean.

00:13:12.225 --> 00:13:12.970
I guess I would rather have it all.

00:13:13.390 --> 00:13:15.256
Well my reality is I have no energy.

00:13:15.778 --> 00:13:16.870
Yeah, that's it, Because you could.

00:13:16.870 --> 00:13:19.197
You probably want an honor roll bumper too.

00:13:19.979 --> 00:13:21.081
Well, yeah, if you could?

00:13:21.081 --> 00:13:27.089
Yeah, I'd rather you know what, like though yeah, I think it goes back to what you were saying Having it all.

00:13:27.089 --> 00:13:29.976
Sometimes it's like if you're used to having it all, then you want it all.

00:13:30.378 --> 00:13:30.557
Yeah.

00:13:30.577 --> 00:13:31.240
All the time.

00:13:31.760 --> 00:13:32.142
That's it.

00:13:42.190 --> 00:13:46.902
It's like I'd rather sometimes you know, yeah, I'm good uh, workaholic identity or quiet quitting champion workaholic identity yeah, I figured that much about you, that's for sure.

00:13:46.902 --> 00:13:47.783
Why do you think that is?

00:13:49.412 --> 00:13:49.952
why am I like?

00:13:50.033 --> 00:13:51.895
that, yeah, but think about it.

00:13:51.895 --> 00:13:54.879
It goes kind of ties into what we were talking about earlier.

00:13:54.879 --> 00:14:08.772
Both of us never really tried in high school, right, or in school in general right, like we never really tried Right, but we work our fucking asses off.

00:14:08.772 --> 00:14:13.217
Why couldn't we try harder for school?

00:14:13.217 --> 00:14:19.905
It's the same Like you get better grades, you get a better education, you get a better job.

00:14:19.905 --> 00:14:23.778
Why, where's the disconnect for us?

00:14:24.269 --> 00:14:25.756
Well, we didn't have the right tools.

00:14:26.580 --> 00:14:28.909
I guess, you know, yeah.

00:14:29.551 --> 00:14:32.676
And there's a difference between doing something you love.

00:14:32.676 --> 00:14:37.904
You know it's easy for me to work hard.

00:14:38.610 --> 00:14:39.734
Because you're doing something you love.

00:14:40.014 --> 00:14:40.375
That's it.

00:14:40.736 --> 00:14:41.600
Okay, yeah.

00:14:42.070 --> 00:14:44.638
Proving my worth versus protecting my peace.

00:14:45.679 --> 00:15:12.591
Ooh, I'm kind of straddling both right now, yeah, but interestingly enough, proving my worth to myself, protecting my peace for myself, as opposed to maybe a few years ago, would have been proving my worth to you or to whoever, and protecting my peace wasn't even on the fucking board.

00:15:12.591 --> 00:15:14.916
So it's it's.

00:15:14.916 --> 00:15:18.543
It's, it's more me now, but both.

00:15:18.543 --> 00:15:19.664
What about you?

00:15:21.912 --> 00:15:27.620
Old Josh definitely proving my worth Me now absolutely 100% protecting my peace.

00:15:27.620 --> 00:15:30.998
So that's all I care about.

00:15:31.831 --> 00:15:34.357
Extra credit or a class clown.

00:15:35.770 --> 00:15:36.816
Class clown dropout.

00:15:36.816 --> 00:15:39.124
That's literally what I was class clown, class clown dropout.

00:15:39.144 --> 00:15:39.929
That's literally what I was Class clown.

00:15:40.289 --> 00:15:45.283
So mental load martyr or calendar ghoster.

00:15:46.591 --> 00:15:47.857
I was the mental load martyr.

00:15:47.857 --> 00:15:50.534
Still am in a few ways, but I'm getting better.

00:15:50.534 --> 00:15:51.355
What about you?

00:15:54.503 --> 00:15:54.884
I don't know.

00:15:55.051 --> 00:15:56.976
I feel like you're the calendar ghoster.

00:15:57.158 --> 00:15:57.580
Probably.

00:15:57.950 --> 00:16:00.855
Kind of you know calendar ghoster.

00:16:00.875 --> 00:16:02.219
Probably Kind of you know yeah.

00:16:04.043 --> 00:16:07.317
Yeah, yeah, okay, an early riser or a nap at three.

00:16:07.818 --> 00:16:08.279
Early riser.

00:16:09.431 --> 00:16:10.215
I'm a nap at three.

00:16:11.672 --> 00:16:16.859
I mean sometimes I'll still nap at three, Doing the most versus doing just enough.

00:16:20.572 --> 00:16:21.095
It depends.

00:16:21.095 --> 00:16:27.138
I'm going to cop out and say both, depending on what it is.

00:16:27.538 --> 00:16:28.041
Yeah, same.

00:16:32.653 --> 00:16:35.960
I'll sleep when I'm dead or I'll rest, so I don't die.

00:16:40.270 --> 00:16:45.326
I think now it's I'll rest, so I don't die, yes, same.

00:16:46.330 --> 00:16:53.799
Yeah, I think I had very much that mindset when I was creating my business, which was what did I used to say?

00:16:53.799 --> 00:17:09.372
There was a saying um, work like most people won't, so you can have the life like most people can't, and so it was always that mindset of like, work, work, work, build, build, build.

00:17:09.372 --> 00:17:15.576
And yeah, yeah, now not so much, yeah, not so much.

00:17:15.576 --> 00:17:16.877
But that's the point of youth.

00:17:16.877 --> 00:17:35.503
Youth is about taking risk and working your ass off and building something, if that's your calling, so that you know you're in a place, as you get older, where things become a lot easier.

00:17:35.503 --> 00:17:41.961
Not that my life's easier, but anyways, that was the goal, right?

00:17:42.282 --> 00:17:42.584
Yeah.

00:17:42.970 --> 00:17:53.070
But you know there's also some negatives to that, like you don't have many friends in my line of work entrepreneur-wise, you know.

00:17:53.070 --> 00:18:01.275
Like, sure, there's probably things I could have done to balance it better maybe, but it still wouldn't have.

00:18:01.275 --> 00:18:04.603
Let me gone full force, right?

00:18:04.603 --> 00:18:06.134
So it all depends.

00:18:06.576 --> 00:18:09.357
Yeah, dear, whatever letter.

00:18:09.357 --> 00:18:11.780
So this week I'm going to read it.

00:18:11.800 --> 00:18:12.505
Okay.

00:18:14.571 --> 00:18:16.819
It says dear sibling, whatever.

00:18:16.819 --> 00:18:22.122
I'm a 43-year-old woman who's so tired of doing it all.

00:18:22.122 --> 00:18:34.977
I used to pride myself on being the reliable one, the high achiever, the one people counted on, but lately I fantasize about disappearing from every group chat and just resting.

00:18:34.977 --> 00:18:38.480
Why does rest feel like failure?

00:18:41.263 --> 00:18:47.396
Well, I mean, you know, rest feels like failure because you're not allowed in your mind.

00:18:48.519 --> 00:18:48.818
Yeah.

00:18:48.818 --> 00:18:53.032
Right, so you have this thing about how you just have to keep going right.

00:18:53.032 --> 00:18:55.397
There's always something to do, always somebody to help.

00:18:56.821 --> 00:18:59.267
There's always something to do, always somebody to help, etc.

00:18:59.267 --> 00:19:10.865
Yeah, and then if someone sees you resting on your loins, then you are lazy, Right, yeah, You're lazy.

00:19:10.865 --> 00:19:11.686
Oh my gosh, what are you doing?

00:19:11.686 --> 00:19:13.672
You're not even doing anything.

00:19:13.672 --> 00:19:19.017
You know, that's the mindset I have.

00:19:19.017 --> 00:19:24.623
I I find that it's very difficult for me to do nothing.

00:19:24.623 --> 00:19:34.978
You know getting better, but I find it's very difficult because it always comes off as lazy, you know.

00:19:34.978 --> 00:19:37.521
So always has to do something.

00:19:37.521 --> 00:19:38.984
So I kind of relate to that.

00:19:39.810 --> 00:19:47.684
You know, I'm sitting here thinking like I actually think it's very easy for me to do nothing.

00:19:47.684 --> 00:20:03.313
It's not like a desire, it's a necessity, like my nothing is always at the end where I literally can't move anymore does that make sense?

00:20:05.316 --> 00:20:11.333
and so I kind of I kind of relate to this to this listener that sent in this letter.

00:20:11.333 --> 00:20:30.608
It's kind of like hmm, yeah, you know, like I'm always the one doing something, people count on me I have, like you know, and then resting, resting is only like the the worst, like the the not the worst case scenario, but like the last resort.

00:20:30.608 --> 00:20:34.476
You know what I mean yeah so I don't know.

00:20:34.635 --> 00:20:39.825
I'm going to say then just do it.

00:20:39.825 --> 00:20:49.141
What's the worst thing that can happen if you actually rest and, like you said, disappear from the group chat?

00:20:50.410 --> 00:20:55.856
Yeah, I guess it depends on who's judging you and why you feel like it matters so much.

00:20:55.856 --> 00:20:57.259
Yeah, right, and why you feel like it matters so much.

00:20:57.259 --> 00:20:57.680
Yeah, right.

00:20:57.680 --> 00:21:02.885
So if someone's judging you, then maybe the question is you know.

00:21:02.885 --> 00:21:09.115
The question isn't you know why does rest feel like failure?

00:21:09.115 --> 00:21:14.317
Maybe it's you know why am I subjecting myself to this person who's making me feel like this?

00:21:14.317 --> 00:21:17.700
So that might be the better thought.

00:21:17.700 --> 00:21:18.544
And sometimes it's you feel like this.

00:21:18.584 --> 00:21:21.560
So that might be the better thought, and sometimes it's it's, it's you.

00:21:22.407 --> 00:21:22.710
Yeah, yeah.

00:21:22.790 --> 00:21:24.509
Maybe sometimes it's not even outside.

00:21:24.509 --> 00:21:26.136
It could be you yourself.

00:21:26.136 --> 00:21:51.500
There's something within you that's like judging you, for I say, I say do it, and the more that you do it, the easier it gets, and the more that you do it, the better you feel about yourself, and the more confident you are, the more you can then establish a healthier boundary between work and rest.

00:21:52.102 --> 00:21:55.185
Very true, very true, good point.

00:21:56.750 --> 00:21:58.413
Childhood trauma question.

00:21:58.413 --> 00:22:09.781
Report card days oh god growing up back in the day when it wasn't electric, electric, electronic.

00:22:09.781 --> 00:22:16.215
You know when you would like your parents just get it in the in their email that you had to get signed by somebody.

00:22:16.215 --> 00:22:23.063
Did you ever get a report card like that you signed for mom or dad?

00:22:23.063 --> 00:22:25.204
No, like fake signed, no, no.

00:22:26.346 --> 00:22:26.426
No.

00:22:26.891 --> 00:22:28.415
I was too scared to do that.

00:22:28.857 --> 00:22:29.078
Yeah.

00:22:29.190 --> 00:22:30.536
I was too scared to do a lot of things.

00:22:30.536 --> 00:22:32.355
I was just a scaredy cat.

00:22:32.355 --> 00:22:45.359
Yeah, I don't remember report cards in elementary school so much, but high school I remember a little bit more and there wasn't necessarily like a fear, it was just kind of like eh, here we go again.

00:22:45.359 --> 00:22:51.816
You know, I didn't care, I got good enough grades that it wasn't.

00:22:51.816 --> 00:22:59.942
It was like maybe 60s and 70s and I think mom and dad just kind of were like you could do better?

00:22:59.942 --> 00:23:02.957
Yeah, but I don't want to.

00:23:03.557 --> 00:23:07.502
Yeah, no, for me, I don't know, it was always a mess.

00:23:08.366 --> 00:23:18.374
But I don't remember them being strict in the sense of like this is your homework time and get your homework done and sit there like no, I mean I remember that a little bit.

00:23:19.296 --> 00:23:24.453
There was eras or moments where that there was that.

00:23:24.453 --> 00:23:33.270
But you know, I, from very young I mean I failed everything all the time, you know.

00:23:33.270 --> 00:23:37.517
So it was very tough when I had to come.

00:23:37.517 --> 00:23:44.066
I think I did summer school every year until I dropped out.

00:23:44.066 --> 00:23:47.698
I mean yeah.

00:23:48.058 --> 00:23:48.359
Yeah.

00:23:48.630 --> 00:23:53.740
So it was never a fun moment when it came to giving grades to them.

00:23:55.522 --> 00:23:56.484
Oh, that sucks.

00:23:56.970 --> 00:23:58.175
What about your kids now?

00:23:58.175 --> 00:24:03.035
When you get the report cards now for your kids?

00:24:03.055 --> 00:24:03.978
I don't give a fuck.

00:24:05.000 --> 00:24:17.602
Right, I care, but I approach it in the sense of I know what you're struggling with, what you're not, what you're capable of, what you're not.

00:24:17.602 --> 00:24:24.538
I by no means expect perfection, no, but I do expect effort.

00:24:24.538 --> 00:24:27.959
That's how I look at it.

00:24:27.959 --> 00:24:33.621
But effort changes depending on which child I'm talking to.

00:24:33.621 --> 00:24:35.094
Do you know what I mean?

00:24:35.094 --> 00:24:35.336
Maybe that?

00:24:35.355 --> 00:24:35.917
in and of itself isn't fair?

00:24:35.938 --> 00:24:36.199
I don't know.

00:24:36.199 --> 00:24:37.163
No, not necessarily, but I know what I mean.

00:24:37.163 --> 00:24:38.107
Maybe that in and of itself isn't fair.

00:24:38.107 --> 00:24:38.409
I don't know.

00:24:38.409 --> 00:24:41.335
No not necessarily, but I know what their strengths are.

00:24:41.335 --> 00:24:42.237
Yeah, exactly.

00:24:43.038 --> 00:24:48.066
So no, I just mean I don't give a shit if you know it's bad or something.

00:24:48.066 --> 00:24:52.878
I'm not going to do anything, I know what you meant, and when they need help, you know.

00:24:52.878 --> 00:24:53.902
If I can, I'm there.

00:24:54.343 --> 00:24:54.563
Yeah.

00:24:56.391 --> 00:24:59.738
Try to get them a tutor or whatever it is that they need help with.

00:25:00.038 --> 00:25:00.420
That's it.

00:25:01.762 --> 00:25:03.776
Yeah, just give them the tools that they need, right.

00:25:03.935 --> 00:25:10.142
Yeah, yeah, I'm like super not, you know, pro school.

00:25:10.142 --> 00:25:20.978
So like I'm, I'm like the worst parent to talk to about this, you know, I mean well, you didn't have the best experience, Josh, so it makes complete sense.

00:25:20.978 --> 00:25:23.633
I had zero good experience.

00:25:23.633 --> 00:25:35.018
I don't truly feel like anything helped me where I am today.

00:25:35.018 --> 00:25:36.301
You know.

00:25:36.561 --> 00:25:36.823
Yeah.

00:25:42.450 --> 00:25:46.377
You know, granted, some of the damn teachers these days, man, wow, you know, like with my son and stuff, like I can't.

00:25:46.458 --> 00:26:03.967
Just this is incredible but like now it feels like the way they're teaching the things that they, how they're teaching the things that they, how they approach teaching is, I'm not saying perfect, but it's very different from the way it was when we were kids.

00:26:04.329 --> 00:26:16.138
Like now they have standing desks, they have, like you know, those yoga balls that, like, because kids learn different ways, like my kids, they need to be fucking moving.

00:26:16.138 --> 00:26:20.251
Like they can't even sit still at the dinner table.

00:26:20.251 --> 00:26:21.976
Do you know what I mean?

00:26:21.976 --> 00:26:38.490
They're always standing and moving and it's you said, you know like, you kind of like in this mentality, this old school mentality sometimes, of like, just fucking sit down, sit still and eat, good, but then you're like, but what does it matter really at the end of the day?

00:26:38.490 --> 00:26:46.348
Okay, like, if that's what they need to finish eating, then I guess that's okay.

00:26:46.348 --> 00:26:55.237
I don't know, maybe we'll just have a bunch of in 20 years from now, we'll just have a bunch of grownups, you know, like, standing at the table instead of sitting because nobody can sit and eat.

00:26:55.237 --> 00:27:03.728
I don't know, but it's just, it's really cool that they have all of these extra resources and schools and stuff.

00:27:03.768 --> 00:27:03.910
Yeah.

00:27:03.930 --> 00:27:06.336
So it's really every kid.

00:27:06.336 --> 00:27:12.797
You still have to fight a little, but every kid can get the resources that they want For sure.

00:27:12.797 --> 00:27:13.798
Or need, sorry yeah.

00:27:14.039 --> 00:27:15.583
So true, and I like that.

00:27:16.042 --> 00:27:19.493
I like that Flashback debate.

00:27:19.493 --> 00:27:19.769
Sorry, yeah, and I like that.

00:27:19.769 --> 00:27:27.503
I like that Flashback debate, josh, mental health days were not a thing when we were growing up.

00:27:27.503 --> 00:27:40.374
So every once in a while my kids will come up to me and say, can I just have a day at home Like I need a mental health day?

00:27:40.374 --> 00:27:43.981
I started, I started.

00:27:43.981 --> 00:27:52.313
I was just like I feel like I feel like I kind of started that one and, uh, kind of regretting it.

00:27:52.313 --> 00:28:05.894
I don't know if I don't know if that was the smartest move on my part, but that is something that they throw at me every once in a while and I can't help but understand.

00:28:05.894 --> 00:28:08.721
God, don't we all just want a fucking mental health day sometimes?

00:28:08.869 --> 00:28:10.710
I'm sure, I'm sure.

00:28:11.010 --> 00:28:11.853
What do you mean?

00:28:11.853 --> 00:28:14.651
You're sure You've never wanted to have a mental health day, I'm sure.

00:28:14.651 --> 00:28:15.392
What do you mean?

00:28:15.392 --> 00:28:16.854
You're sure You've never wanted to have a mental health day.

00:28:16.854 --> 00:28:22.942
You've never, ever, woken up and say I just can't today, I cannot do it, and you've canceled work.

00:28:23.625 --> 00:28:23.744
No.

00:28:24.630 --> 00:28:29.713
No way, I don't think I've had that luxury.

00:28:29.713 --> 00:28:35.458
You know like I mean that in the nicest way possible.

00:28:36.018 --> 00:28:37.898
Yeah, or do you think it's a man thing?

00:28:39.059 --> 00:28:40.641
No, I don't think so.

00:28:40.641 --> 00:28:42.702
I don't think it's a man thing.

00:28:42.702 --> 00:28:57.115
I know lots of guys who you know talk about like mental health days and stuff like that, and I think it's not talked about enough.

00:28:57.115 --> 00:29:05.226
I guess I mean more like I never had the luxury of doing that, meaning I had to work or else.

00:29:05.226 --> 00:29:19.602
So to have a mental health day would mean less money or not being able to pay that bill on time, so it's like I didn't have the luxury of having a mental health day.

00:29:20.372 --> 00:29:21.777
That must be tough sometimes.

00:29:22.670 --> 00:29:23.090
It is.

00:29:23.090 --> 00:29:46.721
But I realize that it made me so strong in so many ways where I've had a lot of shit thrown at me in my life, in my personal life, where I had to, you know, grind my teeth and get up and go to work.

00:29:46.721 --> 00:29:59.351
Knowing all of this shit is like exploding in the background and just work because I didn't have the luxury of being able to just say fuck it.

00:29:59.351 --> 00:30:04.663
So for me, you know, yeah, that's how I look at it.

00:30:05.891 --> 00:30:08.955
Yeah, I don't even think so.

00:30:08.955 --> 00:30:12.923
Yes, for sure, I don't think that was a thing growing up.

00:30:12.923 --> 00:30:30.964
It was especially like maybe there were parents out there that were like that, but I think our parents with the hustle mentality and the work and all that stuff, they were not like no, you have sniffles Like go to fucking school.

00:30:31.105 --> 00:30:31.605
You know what I mean.

00:30:32.211 --> 00:30:36.031
So I ended up like skipping school more than anything, that's, of course, high school.

00:30:36.874 --> 00:30:44.557
I think you doing the mental health days with your kids is a good thing, Because you know, think about it for a second.

00:30:44.557 --> 00:30:47.041
Why did you want to skip school?

00:30:47.041 --> 00:30:48.730
Why did you want to stay home sick?

00:30:51.675 --> 00:30:53.960
Well, it could be various things it could be.

00:30:53.960 --> 00:30:58.532
You're just, you're just tired of like, I just don't want to think.

00:30:59.355 --> 00:31:00.958
And why would a kid do that?

00:31:01.018 --> 00:31:04.811
It could also be drama with friends at school or whatever.

00:31:04.811 --> 00:31:07.599
Right, and the only way that you could escape it like now.

00:31:07.599 --> 00:31:08.561
That terrifies me.

00:31:08.561 --> 00:31:15.021
Now you can't even escape it Right At home, but um, that's a whole other podcast.

00:31:15.021 --> 00:31:20.010
But, those were things that reasons for that I wanted to stay home.

00:31:20.152 --> 00:31:25.613
Yeah, and then you were forced to go to school and then and then you ended up skipping school anyways.

00:31:26.054 --> 00:31:26.234
Yeah.

00:31:26.234 --> 00:31:28.601
So you know walking around the mall.

00:31:29.002 --> 00:31:41.479
So what's better that your kids express these things to you so that it's right in front of your eyes, or so that they go to school and you don't know that they?

00:31:41.479 --> 00:31:55.357
No, I, I want to know so then, I think doing this, the mental health days with them, is a good thing yeah because you get more honesty out of them, right yeah so and it also teaches them that their feelings are valid.

00:31:55.377 --> 00:31:57.000
Mm-hmm, you know what I mean?

00:31:57.000 --> 00:32:00.424
Yeah, they have an opinion.

00:32:01.069 --> 00:32:01.150
Yeah.

00:32:01.170 --> 00:32:05.701
They may not always get their way, but they have an opinion.

00:32:05.701 --> 00:32:09.201
They're allowed to vocalize it, you know, yeah.

00:32:09.201 --> 00:32:13.419
So Pop Culture Rewind, Josh.

00:32:13.900 --> 00:32:15.784
Mm 1998.

00:32:15.784 --> 00:32:22.474
, you can't tell me, you don't remember 1998, a little bit all right.

00:32:22.715 --> 00:32:33.679
The number one song I don't want to miss a thing by aerosmith I hated that song well, after the 30 000th time listening to it in a week, yeah, I kind of hated it.

00:32:33.779 --> 00:32:35.521
I can sing it right now.

00:32:35.521 --> 00:32:39.105
In every movie that song was playing too.

00:32:39.329 --> 00:32:52.071
I know Well, no, it wasn't every movie, it was the movie, the Ben Affleck movie, which Armageddon, that movie, that played on the radio.

00:32:52.172 --> 00:32:53.958
That's literally the movie I was thinking about.

00:32:53.958 --> 00:32:55.554
That's the movie, but it was on the radio all.

00:32:55.574 --> 00:32:56.840
That's literally the movie I was thinking about.

00:32:56.840 --> 00:33:01.319
That's the movie, oh shit, but it was on the radio all the fucking time, which is why I never listen to the radio anymore.

00:33:01.891 --> 00:33:03.136
I forgot Ben Affleck was in that.

00:33:03.136 --> 00:33:04.292
You know who was in my head.

00:33:04.292 --> 00:33:05.375
What's his name?

00:33:05.375 --> 00:33:05.977
Bruce Willis.

00:33:06.298 --> 00:33:11.097
Oh, ah yes, the 1980s action star.

00:33:11.589 --> 00:33:12.332
Yeah, but he was in.

00:33:12.332 --> 00:33:12.913
Armageddon.

00:33:12.913 --> 00:33:13.836
He was the dad.

00:33:13.996 --> 00:33:14.538
He was.

00:33:14.538 --> 00:33:15.219
That's true.

00:33:15.219 --> 00:33:16.182
Yeah, that's what I mean.

00:33:18.269 --> 00:33:19.012
I was thinking about Bruce Willis.

00:33:19.032 --> 00:33:20.317
I forgot that he was in that movie.

00:33:20.317 --> 00:33:24.939
Liv Tyler was the daughter slash love interest.

00:33:24.939 --> 00:33:27.753
Okay, top movie was A Bug's Life.

00:33:27.874 --> 00:33:28.897
I loved that movie.

00:33:29.049 --> 00:33:31.393
I can't believe that came out in 98.

00:33:31.432 --> 00:33:32.676
Yeah, that was a good movie.

00:33:32.676 --> 00:33:36.116
Fuck, and that was good animation.

00:33:36.116 --> 00:33:37.797
We were in awe about the animation.

00:33:37.797 --> 00:33:39.394
Yes, it was so good.

00:33:39.434 --> 00:33:39.876
I loved it.

00:33:39.876 --> 00:33:49.179
Power Puff Girls on the Cartoon Network Britney and Justin started dating God.

00:33:49.179 --> 00:33:55.796
What else the Y2K hype Butterfly Clips else the y2k hype butterfly clips?

00:33:55.796 --> 00:34:09.110
I remember like the late 90s, like um was buffy on at that time, I think.

00:34:09.110 --> 00:34:10.373
So I think it was 97.

00:34:10.492 --> 00:34:16.057
She said it started, uh, but like I mean the aesthetic remember the drew barrymore bangs and the fucking like yeah, oh my God.

00:34:16.057 --> 00:34:17.639
And the dark lipstick.

00:34:17.639 --> 00:34:19.420
Oh, those were my days, man.

00:34:19.420 --> 00:34:22.423
I was like peak, I was like 20.

00:34:22.423 --> 00:34:24.865
I wish I could go back.

00:34:24.865 --> 00:34:32.347
Sometimes I wonder, like what would I do differently?

00:34:34.389 --> 00:34:37.817
I would do some things differently, but not everything.

00:34:37.836 --> 00:34:38.657
I missed it so much.

00:34:38.657 --> 00:34:39.440
What do you remember?

00:34:39.440 --> 00:34:41.202
98.

00:34:41.202 --> 00:34:47.943
You were 15.

00:34:47.943 --> 00:34:48.284
No, 14.

00:34:48.284 --> 00:34:50.751
Oh God, we lived in.

00:34:50.751 --> 00:34:51.114
Okay, wait, 90,.

00:34:51.134 --> 00:34:52.523
yes, that year we lived in PEI.

00:34:52.523 --> 00:34:58.338
Oh, okay, so for me it was basketball was a big thing.

00:34:58.338 --> 00:35:08.300
So I was deep in basketball, um sports, you know you had a couple of friends.

00:35:08.961 --> 00:35:10.644
I remember they were always over at the house.

00:35:10.644 --> 00:35:17.163
Yeah, what, um, speaking of school, did you feel differently about school in PEI?

00:35:18.931 --> 00:35:20.858
Well, I felt like a king when it came to the French.

00:35:22.871 --> 00:35:27.722
It's true, eh, everybody was so like oh, you could speak French, you're hired.

00:35:28.269 --> 00:35:28.891
Yeah, I know.

00:35:28.891 --> 00:35:30.777
Yeah, it's true, and I remember.

00:35:30.777 --> 00:35:36.190
I wonder if it's the same now, though, like with that stigma, or if now, like everyone, speaks French there.

00:35:36.552 --> 00:35:37.114
No, I doubt it.

00:35:37.355 --> 00:35:47.623
You know, but yeah, I do remember that, um, and they were like oh my gosh, your French is so good and I'm like you know, for once, you know something is good.

00:35:50.793 --> 00:35:51.193
Um, you know.

00:35:51.333 --> 00:35:55.318
And then when I went back to Montreal, there were, you know, it was like you're French as shit.

00:35:55.780 --> 00:35:58.262
I was like oh, fuck oh.

00:35:58.844 --> 00:36:02.735
Yeah, man, yeah, that was at least education-wise.

00:36:02.735 --> 00:36:05.581
That was the highlight in PEI.

00:36:05.581 --> 00:36:09.494
I was good in French, oh my.

00:36:09.514 --> 00:36:09.693
God.

00:36:10.050 --> 00:36:13.175
Oh shit, Did you like livingaving and pei?

00:36:14.257 --> 00:36:26.378
I did, I did, you know, I I think though it was um, maybe not, I was gonna say I.

00:36:26.378 --> 00:36:38.811
I feel like, because it's small, you had to really watch yourself, you know with what you did and who you did it with, because everybody knew everybody.

00:36:38.811 --> 00:36:44.581
Yeah, it was like having Facebook, because everyone knew everyone.

00:36:44.762 --> 00:36:44.981
Yeah.

00:36:45.382 --> 00:36:49.115
So like you had to be very careful in that sense.

00:36:49.115 --> 00:36:54.362
You know, if you were in a fight and you got beaten up, it's like everyone and their mother would know.

00:36:54.362 --> 00:36:58.293
So it was like very difficult in some cases.

00:36:58.293 --> 00:37:18.590
Like that um versus like Montreal is just so many people right, like you're nobody in Montreal versus in PEI, you're somebody, kind of thing yeah so I feel like that was a big different difference in in the sense.

00:37:18.590 --> 00:37:25.110
So I don't know if I actually liked it more or less it was just different it was just different.

00:37:25.751 --> 00:37:41.338
Yeah, all right, that's our take on burnout hustle and why gen x might be the most tired generation alive if you're canceling your afternoon plans just from listening same, you're not lazy, you're just done.

00:37:41.338 --> 00:37:48.130
And if someone praises you for doing it all, feel free to respond with Cool.

00:37:48.130 --> 00:37:49.617
I'd like to do less.

00:37:50.650 --> 00:37:54.971
There's more nostalgia and emotional damage where that came from, so stick around.